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Help Me, Harlan!
October 6, 2008
Dear Harlan: My husband and I have been together for 14 wonderful years. I’m still attractive (I think so anyway), we have sex quite often, and we have a great marriage. Why would he need to look at naked women on the computer when he’s got me? Also, how do I know he doesn’t think about them when he’s with me? It’s been about three months since I caught him. He said he’s sorry. Why does a happily married man do that? Am I not sexy, or do I not satisfy him anymore? I don’t get it. — Hurting From Porn>>
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Wise Up!
October 6, 2008
Not every family is happy. While growing up, actor Corbin Bernsen (“L.A. Law”) did not have a really good relationship with his father, and at one point, during the process of getting a divorce, his mother was drinking way too much. In addition, Corbin was going through a process of teenage rebellion and blaming his parents for it.>>
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Ask the Advice Goddess
October 2, 2008
I’m an attractive, 42-year-old single mom with a 13-year-old son. I’ve been widowed for three years, and I’m finally ready to date. I’ve found myself increasingly attracted to this man (actually, I’m yearning to jump his bones), but he’s only 32. I sense the attraction may be mutual. The problem is, I’m the queen of mixed signals. If a good-looking guy checks me out in the grocery store, I scurry to another aisle and kick myself later. After this guy went out of his way to call to say he wished our conversation hadn’t been interrupted at a party the night before, I told him, “I’m just needy; I’ll talk to anyone who’ll listen.” Please don’t tell me to find a man my age. They don’t give me the time of day — except for the ones who creep me out. What can I say or do to let this man know I’m interested without coming off as a desperate older woman? — Own Worst Enemy>>
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Help Me, Harlan!
September 29, 2008
Dear Harlan: I’m in a long-distance relationship, and I’m afraid my boyfriend is getting bored with me over the phone. I suck at phone calls, but I love talking to him. What should I do? How can keep up the heat? — Bad Phone Talker>>
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Wise Up!
September 29, 2008
Normally, a flash mob resembles a practical joke, as when a jokester posts instructions on a Web site such as Facebook for many people to suddenly congregate on a busy street, simultaneously yell “YES! YES! YES!” into their mobile telephones, applaud, and then quickly leave, making bystanders wonder what just happened. (In 2003 in Berlin, 40 people did exactly this.)>>
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Ask the Advice Goddess
September 25, 2008
I’m a 25-year-old woman who spends an exorbitant amount of hours daydreaming about this 28-year-old guy I met nine months ago. We’re both musicians, and both tired of the games men and women play. He tells me I’m an absolute catch, and leans in when we talk in the hall like he’s trying to get closer. He has said he’s timid with girls he likes, plus I told him, “When I really like a guy, I tell him so.” Oops. I later backpedaled, explaining that I wait till the last possible moment. I’m just aching to reveal my feelings, but have only made hints while we’ve both been drunk, and I don’t think they’ve registered. Oh, yeah, did I mention he’s my roommate? What if he isn’t interested? What if I lose a tenant and a friend? How can I broach the topic of taking our friendship to the next level without scaring him away? — Mooning For My Roomie>>
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Help Me, Harlan!
September 22, 2008
Dear Harlan: I am three weeks into my freshman year of college. My roommate, suite-mate and I get along very well. The problem is the fourth girl in the apartment. She switched into our room three days before our move-in. She has a strong and stubborn personality. Her favorite things to talk about are politics and religion, which makes the simplest of discussions heated, and she doesn’t really feel cleaning is important. She insists that we recycle, but refuses to take out any of the recycling. Plus, she has a tendency of pulling her hair out and leaving it all over the sink and the tub. Unfortunately, the emotional stress of the whole college experience is wearing everyone down, and today there was a huge blowout in my room. It went on for a few hours, woke up the other students who live on our floor, and finally our RA had to come in and intervene, which took two hours. My other roommates are talking about requesting she be switched out. I just do not know what to do in this situation. What else can we do? — The Mediator Roommate>>
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Wise Up!
September 22, 2008
Rod Chisholm both coached football and taught history in Iowa. Before an important game, he decided to devote a history class to football, believing that the fans would enjoy the game more if they understood the game better. Therefore, he had the football players in his class explain the game to the non-football players. However, he warned the class that the state inspector of schools might come into the classroom, and if he did, the students were to immediately start talking about history.>>
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Ask the Advice Goddess
September 18, 2008
OK, I give up. I met a guy online. He said I was very pretty (and I actually look like my pictures). We talked several times, and had lots in common, so I took a train to where he lives and he drove us to a baseball game. Let me be clear: At no time did it seem he wasn’t enjoying himself. We laughed and flirted. He even mentioned a second date.>>
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Help Me, Harlan!
September 15, 2008
Dear Harlan: I have been through a messy divorce with a man who, after 16 years of marriage, met another woman, got her pregnant and proceeded to file for full custody of my two young boys. He lost in court, but we were ordered to share custody. My ex-husband is an alcoholic and a rage-aholic. He’s constantly trying to alienate me from my boys, not allowing me to speak to them when he has them, not respecting me in front of them and talking badly about me to them. I make a special effort not to talk about their dad or put them in the middle. I recently found out that my sister is having a relationship with my ex. She has been e-mailing him and baby-sitting for him. When I confronted her, she had no excuse. My mom said that my sister thinks my ex is a good person and sees nothing wrong with it. She even forwarded him the e-mail I sent her telling her to stop contacting him, as that is a betrayal to me. My ex-husband loves to throw it in my face about her being friends with him, and loves to bring up her name. How do I get her to see that she is putting herself in the middle of my divorce, and putting my boys and family in an awkward mess? — Mad in Pennsylvania>>
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Wise Up!
September 15, 2008
During the Holocaust, some Jewish groups fought Nazi tyranny through armed uprisings; in addition, another way of resisting the Nazis was simply to remain human and to follow one’s religion despite cruel and inhuman conditions.>>
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Ask The Advice Goddess
September 11, 2008
The guy I’m dating is a high-school graduate with a manual labor job. I have a master’s and a corporate career, and I’ll eventually make several times his salary. He’s a great guy, and does stuff like spontaneously buying me flowers at the farmers market and calling just to say goodnight. We talk sports, which I love, and he shares his work gossip, but I can’t talk to him the way I talk to my egghead friends. I use five-dollar words (my natural speech after years of schooling), and I can tell he sometimes has no idea what I just said. My friends seem put off by him and question whether we’ve got enough in common. I’m more concerned with how he feels around them (going silent, fumbling words, getting grumpy). Is it reasonable to give up this sweet, attentive man for somebody married to his work, but who can match wits with anyone, anytime? — Opposites Attract>>
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Help Me, Harlan!
September 8, 2008
Dear Harlan: I met a girl on the front porch at a fraternity party. I just got out of a long two-year relationship with my high school sweetheart, which didn’t end well at all, and I haven’t really been into the dating scene for a long time. So, I met this girl and we talked for a while. I ended up not asking for her number for some reason. I decided to Facebook-friend her later that night. A few days later, I sent her a message telling her that I enjoyed talking to her and that she didn’t seem like just another pretty face around campus, but had a personality that I found attractive. I sent her this message and at the end I asked if she would want to hang out sometime as “new friends.”>>
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Wise Up!
September 8, 2008
In 1942, the Nazis ordered artist and teacher Friedl Dicker-Brandeis to report to the concentration camp of Terezin. Jews were allowed to pack a few belongings to take with them, and Friedl packed something that most people would never have thought of: art supplies. She did not herself use most of the art supplies, reserving their use for the children of the concentration camp — and using such materials as office forms and blueprints when the real art materials ran out.>>
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Ask The Advice Goddess
September 4, 2008
I recently discovered that my boyfriend of four years has been secretly searching for his ex-fiance online. I’d say most girlfriends check their mate’s cell phone or Internet history, so I think I’m not alone in looking. When I confronted him, he said he wasn’t trying to make contact or anything; he just never got closure, and wonders about her sometimes. (About eight years ago, he caught her cheating on him, and they haven’t spoken since.) Now I’m all jealous, and feel like I’m competing for his love. Does he secretly feel like he lost “the one”? — Isn’t Easy Being Green>>
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Help Me, Harlan!
September 2, 2008
Dear Harlan: My boyfriend of about three months is kind of anti-social around my friends and my family. He just goes off and does his own thing, and doesn’t try to interact. He also is making promises to me about getting a place together, getting married and buying things for us. However, he doesn’t try to get a job to do any of that. I have some major medical problems that limit how active I can be on some days. When I’m in pain, I try not to let him know, but even if I do, he makes me feel guilty and I end up doing whatever he wants — even if it makes me feel physically worse later. I know that I don’t want to end the relationship, but I’m just not sure what to do at this point. — Lost>>
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Wise Up!
September 2, 2008
Sometimes, practical jokers just can’t get a break. Bored while waiting to pay the toll on the Venetian Causeway in Miami, Calvin Godfrey, a writer for the Miami New Times, looked under his seat to see what he could see. Finding a can of shaving cream that had fallen out of a grocery bag long ago, he decided to see if he could make the tollbooth worker laugh. He bearded himself with the shaving cream, drove up to the tollbooth, and paid the toll. The tollbooth worker did not react — at all — to the shaving-cream beard. Other attempts to make the tollbooth worker laugh — such as driving with a live, loose chicken beside him and eating a messy lemon meringue pie without utensils — also failed to make the tollbooth worker laugh. Mr. Godfrey then did some investigating and interviewed Delfin Molins, the Miami-Dade County Public Works Department public information officer. Mr. Molins explained that tollbooth workers undergo training in not laughing at such antics.>>
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Ask The Advice Goddess
August 28, 2008
I’m 42 and in love for the first time. I live in a beautiful house with the most kind, generous, sweet and gentle man imaginable. Unfortunately, he’s a slob, and it’s making me crazy! The worst is walking downstairs in the morning and facing the mess. Aaarrrgh!! It can make me irritable/angry/depressed all day. I’ve begged and cajoled. Most embarrassingly, I’ve even thrown a fit. When I pick up after him (I have to — his stuff gets in my way), I feel angry and resentful. He claims he doesn’t like the mess either. On the rare occasion he does clean, he’ll do one small area and immediately begin trashing it. Should I just accept that my living room will always look like a garbage dump? — Besieged>>
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Help Me, Harlan!
August 25, 2008
Dear Harlan: I’m going to be a freshman in college this year and ended up getting a triple dorm. Before I move in, I’m wondering if I should tell my roommates about my past “medical history” with EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). I was diagnosed with this about one year ago, and I was not categorized as bulimic because I didn’t binge and purge (I would eat normal amounts but purge afterwards). The cause for my purging was due to overwhelming stress, anxiety and a past trauma, as opposed to the desire to be thin. I have since gotten help, but relapse is a common occurrence for those with eating disorders. I would like to tell my roommates in case I relapse, have fainting spells or become dehydrated, etc. However, I don’t want to scare them in the first week, have the whole dorm building know about it, and I don’t want them to become suspicious of what I do in the bathroom after meals (like my mom). Help me, please? — Packing My Problems>>
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Wise Up!
August 25, 2008
In the winter of 1995, the weather was so cold that over four inches of ice formed on a small lake in Indiana, making it safe to walk on. However, a few warm days in February melted some of the ice, making it dangerous to walk on. Unfortunately, 12-year-old Josh Mitchell didn’t realize that, and he decided to take a shortcut to a friend’s house by walking across the semi-frozen lake. He fell through the ice, and a dog named Levi, the pet of Denise and George Hammond, saw him and started whining.>>
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