More than a decade has passed since Vivian Dunbar first organized a Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays chapter in the Athens area, only to see it dwindle in numbers and eventually dissolve.

Local organizers, including Dunbar, are giving it another shot, with the newly incorporated Athens Area PFLAG meeting from 6-8 p.m. the second Monday of each month at UCM: Center for Spiritual Growth and Social Justice in Athens.

The national organization is made up of local grassroots groups, including Athens Area PFLAG, explained current president and organizer Amy Coombs.

The meetings are anonymous and provide a comfortable setting for parents, friends and other loved ones of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people to talk about their personal struggles and share their stories, Dunbar said.

Coombs said the mission of PFLAG is threefold: education, support and advocacy.

With the local group becoming an official nonprofit organization just two months ago, Coombs said it’s still in the planning stages. Members are deciding what PFLAG will mean for people in the southeast counties of Ohio.

“My interest in outreach was personal,” said Coombs, who grew up in Washington, D.C. in a family heavily invested in the Civil Rights Movement. “When my son (Garth) came out, I personally needed an anonymous and safe area. For 13 years, I was pretty sure he wasn’t heterosexual, but there was no one to talk to about it.”

Coombs said it was not an easy process for her son to come out as a gay man, even in his freshman year of college.

“As prepared as I thought I was, there were still things that took me by surprise,” she said. “I thought when (Garth) came out, his problems would be over. I learned it’s a long and often painful process that takes several years or more.”

Garth, who lives in Boston with his partner of five years, said the benefits of having a local PFLAG outweigh any hesitancy he experienced due to his mother starting the group.

“I was a little hesitant at first because it’s a small town and I knew my name would be out there,” he said. “I know I happen to be incredibly lucky with my parents, but I did hear some rumors of some kids having a lot of trouble with their parents… (kids) who got kicked out of their houses or were too afraid to come out to their parents.”

Garth said he believes coming out can lead to people being more fulfilled with their lives and being happier with themselves.

“But everyone’s going to have different terms, different ages, to different people, different ways of coming out,” he said. “For me, (being gay is) not something that I would consider to be my top defining character… I don’t want people to know me as ‘Garth, the gay kid.’”

The Coombs mother and son had similar advice to give to parents, families and friends of loved ones who have recently come out to them.

“This is still the child you raised,” Amy Coombs said. “Nothing’s changed for that child, and it’s not anything you did.”

Coombs, who attended the National Equality March in Washington, D.C., on Oct. 11, said she hopes the local PFLAG chapter will eventually become involved in the Columbus Pride parade and other advocacy efforts.

“It’s absolutely a human-rights issue,” she said. “I don’t understand how anyone can be treated as a second-class citizen or less human because of their race, religion, sexual orientation or gender.”

Coombs said she thinks a “hearts and minds strategy” will help the gay-rights movement move forward.

“I think it’s a very private thing whether you drop into that conversation and come out actively or if you prefer to keep quiet,” she said. “I wish that our society was so welcoming that GLBT people didn’t … feel they had to protect themselves. We haven’t gotten there yet.”

Dunbar said she is excited to see more growth in several months than the previous group experienced in 1994.

“We’re more actively visible,” she noted. “The climate has really changed. Not that homophobia is dead, but there is a younger generation out there… that is really aware.”

In her years of talking to parents about their child’s coming-out process, Dunbar said many parents at first want to blame themselves.

“I listen to them and point them to resources,” she said. “We have a very active LGBT group here, and a lot of liberal thinkers and activists… There are so many differences in people. It’s too bad we pigeonhole.”

For more information about Athens Area PFLAG, contact Coombs at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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